psst... yosi tayo

Yosi: 0
Kape: 1
Angas: sangkaramihan!

How NOT To Make Me Quit Smoking

1. Cut my yosi kit into two, rip my lighter apart, and basically get irritated with everything I say the next morning. Don't tell me that you've found out I've been smoking. Disagree at everything I say with a sneer, an insult, or a shrug.

2. Refuse kissing me on the lips. Make me feel like I have the most disgusting unkissable lips. (Do I have bad breath?)

3. Forget that you've decided to do number 2 above. Then, right before our lips touch, remember that you don't want to kiss me on the lips. Back off, and kiss me on the cheek instead. Make me feel like I have the plague. (Really, tell me, do I have bad breath?)

4. Go to Enchanted Kingdom with me and my labmates. Be the most malambing boyfriend. However, still doing number 2 and number 3 above. Make me go crazy craving for a kiss.

5. Completely forget number 2, thereby, "unintentionally" kissing me on the lips. Then, the next day, refuse to kiss me on the lips again, since the "unintentional" kiss the night before was a forgotten accident. Refuse to kiss me even though I beg for it. Even though I cry my eyes out. Then leave for Batangas.

6. Reply to my message of

"Baby i jst feel its unfair. Uv d0ne and are stil d0in stuf dat i d0nt lyk but i try n0t 2 hurt u bak. But i undrstnd, mgkaiba tay0 eh...H0nestly, ur makn it hardr 4 me 2 quit by n0t kissng me. Sana u try 2 undrstand y i'm lyk ds. M very very sori.

with a

"Hindi yun yon e. In d 1st place, matagal k n dapat nagquit! Matagal mo na akong niloloko!.

Then I reply with

"D ko naman cnsadya na l0k0hin ka eh. It's sumtng i d0 4 myself. Wat i d0nt undrstand is kung bkt pilit m0 k0ng nlilimitan sa lahat ng gs2 k0. Uv always d0ne wat u want, in dsregard 0f me 0r darice. Bkt b nde m0 maibigaybigay t0 sakin? I d0 it 0n my 0wn time, wala na mang nbabawas na 0ras para seny0 ni darice."

and therefore, you reply with

"Cge! Bahala ka n sa buhay mo! Bahala ka mamatay sa kakayosi mo!"

7. Return home from Batangas. Do not acknowledge my presence in the room.

8. While I prepare our stuff for Subic, barely listen and answer my inquiries regarding what clothes you want to bring. Answer all my questions with an indifferent shrug.

9. Tell me, Nabwibuwiset ako sa itsura mo eh!

10. Tell me that I can go on smoking. However, with the condition that if I get sick or die of a smoking-related disease, you will not show up to take care of me, or for my funeral.

11. Think that my smoking is because of popularity issues. That I only smoke because my friends smoke. Think that I'm that shallow.

12. Be offended as hell when told of the real reason that I smoke: because I'm unhappy living with you and your family. Decide not to go to Subic. Change your mind because of my pleas, but curse me continuously under your breath. Do not comfort me in any way.

13. Be the sweetest guy in Subic. Kiss me on the lips at the most unexpected times. Make me hope that things will get better. Then when we get home, stay up till 4 a.m. playing Ragnarok. Make me feel that things will never get better.