The Apology

Last Saturday, while we were waiting for some peeps to leave the movie house, he suddenly turned to me and said this:

Shell, sorry ha. Alam ko minsan unti-unti kitang nasasaktan. At alam ko namang minsan gigil na gigil ka na sakin eh.

Wow.

This was right after I got home from my stay at the MMLDC the night before.

Wow. Kelangan lang pala eh mawala ako ng isang gabi sa piling nya.

This was so unexpected, so out of the blue, so out of the ordinary.

When we'd fight about his attitude/studies/extra-curricular activities or about my smoking/smoking/smoking, he's the one who has to apologize, even if it was about my smoking, because of his temper. His temper really is something to watch out for, and he knows that, and I usually try to keep mine in check, kasi mahirap na kung magkasalubong ang galit namin. And so he apologizes after we kiss-and-make-up. And that's usually about it, because after he apologizes, parang walang nangyari, back to normal sya agad. Para bang na-reset nya agad sistema nya. As for me naman, nadadagdagan ng nadadagdagan yung paghihinakit ko sa kanya.

And so hearing that apology from him, I think a lot of emotional load got lifted from my shoulders. I felt that he still knows me, even though I've been feeling disconnected from him these past few months. My mindset changed from "Mahal ba niya ako talaga?" to "Mahal yata talaga niya ako" (hey, that's an improvement on my part!!!).

Well, that's one cycle gradually being closed. ^_^