On Dying, Death and Planning My Funeral

As I twitted last week, my husband's grandmother passed away.

And being the self-centered person that I am, the last few days I thought of how I want things to be done when it's my turn to push up daisies.

[Okay, I'm not that self-centered. I did thank her (in my prayers) for having Darice as her first favorite great-granddaughter, doting over Darice without really spoiling her :) And I wished her a nice trip to the heavens :)]

First off, if I know I'm already dying, I want to have a living funeral. I haven't read or watched Tuesdays with Morrie though -- I learned of it from a Nicholas Cage movie, The Weather Man.

Yeah, I want to hear those nice things before I die! I want to know if ever I was *that* important to people, if I meant anything to those people who I care for dearly, and if my (short) life wasn't that wasted. I want to know if *all of it* meant something, not only to me, but to my family and friends and the people around me. Yes, I want to be validated -- let me feel good before I die, whydoncha?

Secondly, I want to be buried wearing my favorite purple shirt [kung ano mang paborito kong purple shirt by then hehe] and my favorite jeans. I hope I won't be *that* bloated by then that the jeans won't fit me anymore.

And please I hope the make-up artist makes me look good! I want to look like a sleeping beauty, wehehehehe.

Third thing, I don't want a long wake -- two days max siguro.

Oh and I don't want the wake to be sad. I want it to be like a two-day party! Okay, I know people would want to grieve and mourn but come on, I am beyond pain and suffering already, isn't that something to celebrate? :D I promise I'll try to have my affairs and obligations and responsibilities in order by the time I die so that I won't be a burden even if I'm six feet under already, so that everybody can celebrate, ayt? Lots of booze to go around, good music playing and great conversation flowing between my family and friends, remembering good times they had with me. It is possible embarrassing stories about me will be told, but who cares? At least I know I'll be remembered, hahahha.

Lastly, I want to be cremated.

This is actually my husband's idea. We were watching an episode of Monk, and there was this scene wherein Monk was visiting his wife's grave. I told Dar that when I die I hope he would visit my grave regularly too. Dar then said that he'd have me cremated, so that he can bring home the ashes and can be with him everyday.

I don't know if that was sweet or he's just being lazy, hehehe.

So yeah, cremation. Before that though will be the memorial service. Just something short and sweet -- people might have hangovers from the wake-party the night before eh. Heheheh. Oh and I hope they play songs that *really* mean something to my family and friends, not those generic ones that have been playing for eons already.

And I would want flowers, white roses to be exact, to be thrown into the furnace as they burn my lifeless body. Drama diba? Hehehe. Why white? Well... in the context of dying, for me it means new life :)

Oh, and I hope people wear purple to my cremation, hehehe. Kelangan may motif :P

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Morbid? Well, I don't know. It's better to be prepared about these things. You can never can tell, sabi nga nila :P

But the best preparation, IMHO, is to not take for granted those people you care about and cares about you.

Don't put off sharing some story that you think is insignificant thinking that there are other stories to tell, and there are so much time pa to tell them about it.

What if there isn't any more time?

Don't put off spending quality time thinking that there will be more anniversaries, birthdays and holidays to spend together.

What if that was the last anniversary, birthday or holiday?

And don't put off saying what you have to say thinking that you can say it anytime naman so next time na lang.

What if there won't be a next time?

It is such a cliche but live each day as if it is your last.

I think that is the best way to live, and to die :)