And then, it catches up...

I knew that the time will come after this incident that I will unleash my negative emotions on the true source of the problem: my husband.

Maybe its PMS.

Or I'm just tired of his shit.

Okay, so he did chastise T on what she did. And he did say to stop texting him using that other number of hers. [Hindi daw siya yung nagtetext, kamusta nama--- okay, I promised myself I would stop saying/writing that na!]

But he still thinks and believes that HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

He says: We're just friends. It wasn't flirting, because I didn't really have a "goal". It was obvious already that she was into me, and that was an ego boost.

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

I mean come on.

Wait, really, you need a goal to flirt? If that is his definition of flirting, then yes, he had a goal, because his goal was to boost his ego.

And so it was obvious already that she was into him. Then why spend more time with her? One of his defensive remarks before was that they both know that he was already married, so they both know nothing could really come out of it.

YES THAT'S IT! Nothing can really come out of it, so WHY FUCKING PLAY GAMES WITH OTHER GIRLS! Why waste your time paying attention to them?

At my fucking expense?!?

And what, is he suddenly insecure about his looks and charms? Is that why he needs ego boosts? WHAT AM I HERE FOR? And he says that's not what it should mean, that it shouldn't have anything to do with me.

WTF.

I seriously think he spent way too much time with T that he's giving these illogical answers.

Ano ba naman kasi yang mga sagot na yan. Sana man lang may consistency diba?

Magso-sorry so aakalain mo gets na niya na mali nga yung ginawa niya. Pero sa huli hindi naman pala talaga, feeling pa rin niya wala siyang ginagawang masama. Eh bakit pa nagsorry aber? Para matahimik lang ako, ha?

---

Okay so I lied... this may not be PMS.

There might be new girls (yes, two, kamusta naman yon?) he's being uber-friendly with although I've been hearing their names from his kuwentos already. And the girls' numbers are already in his phone. And yes he did tell me that "inaasar siya" to those girls -- inaasar meaning tinutukso.

Maybe T was right that I am paranoid. But then again, I have basis -- his personality, coupled with an enabling environment, and of course his past actions.

I just cannot deal with another A, G and T situation. (I know of three only, maybe there's more, I dunno)

I just cannot accept another "ego boost".

It is just not in my system to understand and accept what he has done and what he may be doing right now.

HIS EGO BOOSTS WILL NEVER BE ACCEPTABLE IN MY WORLD.

BECAUSE.

I.

WILL.

NEVER.

UNDERSTAND.

Because it will always hurt :(